defused...

the time bomb has seized ticking... By God's grace, I have saved myself, and perhaps saved others from my explosive self as well...

my conversation with KT has turned out v well, the relationship has improved a lot better becos somehow my whirlwind of depression has decided to call it a day. After cracking my brain, and trying to analyse me, I have not been successful in singling out a cause or event that triggered the mild bout of depressive behavior of mood swings, poor wk performance and short tempers. yet through talking it out, I have improved issues in my life, namely the communicative aspect of our r/s, and things seem to turn a lot better. my attitude twds him has improved dramatically, my enthusiasm twds work is back, and I dont even feel suffocated/suppressed anymore. I still haven't decided what could have been the major issue. But as long as the dark clouds' gone, who cares where it came from in the first place!

that said, I think I'm having pre-wedding nostalgia - abt lovers and "could have been" lovers in my life... imagining what would happen if one steps into my life right now, when I'm on the verge of pledging my eternal love to my fiance. haaa... so strange how this human mind works, becoming the devil advocate's and brings us to consider absurd things.

but pls allow me to clarify, I am excited abt getting married, and abt spending my life with KT, no regrets whatsoever, so it's not pre-wedding jitters, cos I am not jittering! hur hur hur